Yay! The twenty week mark passed--we keep joking that I've now managed to grow half a baby. Which half, we don't quite know! Reality is finally starting to set in about this whole thing, and pregnant thoughts are starting to crop up more and more. It's funny--with Patrick I thought about him all of the time from the very first minute on, and it's just different this time around. Not bad, just different. While a lot of my pregnant thoughts are still wondering about gender--tomorrow's the big day!-- there have been other slightly more interesting thoughts. Like:
A) It seems like everyone I know is suddenly pregnant. And they just keep coming out of the woodwork, pregnant lurkers if you will. Just within our ward there are now 4 confirmed April/May due dates. And this is a ward that has had 0 new babies since we moved in. And people that I've been waiting for years to hear prego news from--they just keep cropping up. Good thing this baby will have friends.
B) I'm starting to wonder how I'll manage two in real life. The other day was watched baby Carson. He had just had shots that day and was pretty unhappy the whole time he was here. It was different trying to meet his needs, while simultaneously dealing with a very concerned 2 year old who does not like to hear other babies cry. And this was while Sean was home and totally helping. What do I do when it's all me?
C) I'm starting to do my research about the breastfeeding and how to make the whole thing go better than it did last time. There are just too many people who hear my story and go "wow, I've never heard of anything that awful." Thanks very much, but that's not so much helpful. Also, it turns out that my surgery (my "boobectomy") was done totally wrong to facilitate future nursing. Now they tell me. I really, really want an easy, portable, nursing baby with zero issues. Is that too much to ask?
D) This baby is really starting to MOVE in there. It's always at night, as if to remind me that he/she is there in case I forgot during the course of the day. And it is kind of sweet and fun to feel again and makes me forgive the kid for all the awful ickinesses that pregnancy brings. Like this "round ligament" pain I've been having for 12 weeks now? Hello, the kid hardly weighs anything, I've actually lost weight so far--what the heck can be so twingy in my tummy? I can hardly stand up or roll over without getting the equivalent of a charly horse in my lower abdomen.
That's all I can think of right now, but I do feel better now that I am thinking about these things and I don't have to remind myself that I'm pregnant every few days. I was starting to feel like one of those moms who completely neglect the second child and the kid isn't even born yet!
8 comments:
Pregnant lurkers came out of the woodwork when I first announcing to my fellow ward members that I was expecting. Our ward, which tended to give birth to new babies in massive spurts, had about 6 months previous wrapped up one of those spurts. I was basically the only one left in the ward who was "eligible" to get pregnant. And then everyone right and left starting announcing pregnancies at the same time...for two, this would be their 2nd, for one, her third, and for another, her 7th. We were all due exactly every two weeks from each other. Bizarre. But fun, too, once summer came...and we all started giving birth exactly 2 weeks early. Nice to stay on some sort of schedule, I guess. :)
Anyway, I hear you on being freaked out for the day when my own Number Two comes along. I seriously question my abilities to 1) take care of two kids; 2) in this crazy city. I'm confident you'll do great, though!! I'm sure it's like having a first baby: you just take it one day at a time and be grateful daily that you weren't handed a 5 month old "new" baby. For some reason it's just is easier (in my opinion anyway) to start from Day 1 with a new baby, may it be the first, second, or seventh.
Maybe you can just nurse from one side and have one REALLY big boob. :) Also, about neglecting the secong child...I have a theory. I think everyone's second child (ok, not everyone....but most people I have talked to) is soooo much easier than the first because we spend so much more time sitting them in a swing or in their bed to take care of the toddler, so they learn at an early age to self comfort. It's pretty hard to neglect a new baby...they pretty much just eat and poop and need an occasional bath. Other than that, they sleep. Which is perfect because that WHOLE time they are sleeping, you spend with the toddler. By the time the baby actually starts needing real attention besides it's basic needs being provided for, the toddler is so used to having the baby around it's not too big of an issue. Those are a few of my feelings. Oh, one more thing: if you stress out about this whole nursing thing, you're baby will be stressed out. If you can't nurse, you can't nurse. No biggie! You child will still grow up to be a smart, happy, fun kid like patrick!
I'm not pregnant! And Amy, don't get any false hopes about your second child being easy and low key. I did and then I was oh so dissapointed. I figured since I had a crappy pregnancy I would have an easy baby. And since our first was so spectacularly easy it must just be our fabulous parenting skills. HAH!
You will be fine with two kids. You still have an arm for each child. Just don't run any long errands with two kids until you are physically able to pick them both up and cart them out to the car if need be.
Remember when we went to the mall and you had just had Patrick and you helped me with Savvy? You were a pro. Oh, be prepared for it to take about 20 minutes longer to get out of the house.
You will be fine! I wondered how I would be able to handle two as well. Somehow...you just do, and it isn't very hard!
I am so happy that you reached the 1/2 way mark!! I loved that day...
Yay for halfway! Call me as soon as you find out what kind of baby you are having. I'm dying to know!
It's been pregnant season in my ward for oh, the last two and a half years (since we've been there, basically). It's fun though - my little girl's going to have a whole gaggle of little girls to play with - by the end of February, there will have been 8 girls born in the last 7 months. The boys are so outnumbered!
And hopefully nursing works out for you - does your hospital have a good lactation specialist you can work with?
Amy,
You are great with Patrick and will be just as wonderful with ???? I was never worried about the second child thing, I think maybe it was because I came from such a large family and I always felt loved, important and knew when I NEEDED my mom she was always there, still is. Maybe I did learn early on to not need her for so many little thing? Who knows? Remember also, from what I have seen, you had an EXCELLENT example of a mom who had many children and loved them all the same amount, just in different ways. Each child is an individual and as such you will never be able to treat them exactly the same or love them in exactly the same way so don't bother trying. Let them be who they are meant to be, and then learn to love the person they turn out to be! ( of course DO use a lot of teaching/manipulation to try to help them be good people, but that is another rant for another day! :) )
OH YEAH... AND OF COURSE CALL ME THE MINUTE YOU GET A CHANCE AND LET ME KNOW IF BERTIE BOTZ IS A BERTIE OR BURT!!!!!!!
I always say if the first child was easy plan for a hard one second. If the first was hard you can hope for an easier one. But, I won't leave any facade . . . I think it is harder with 2. But, that being said . . .you are a VERY capable person and you will do great. It will be hard at first because, you know, lack of sleep, patrick struggling with the ideas, etc. But, give it a few months and you get it down and then the enjoying comes along. And if you are lucky and the baby is really good, maybe it will be even sooner than that! I just can't wait to find out what you are having!!!
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